Shut up!

Damn it man!  Don't you get it yet?  No one is listening to you!  How the hell do you wake up and within two minutes you're yelling at the top of your lungs about your views on Chavez in South America?  Can't you tell by the fact that no one even turns their head to look at you that no one gives a flying fuck what you think?  So why the hell do you, instead of shutting your fucking mouth, get louder and louder?  No one gives a damn and all you're doing is disrupting everyone else.  Fuck.  This is the problem with living with other people.

Asshole That Complains About Having No Money, But Blows Their Whole Check In One Night, Every Time

So, there's this asshole I know that always complains that he doesn't have any money for anything.  He just sits at home, doing nothing.  He never leaves the house.  He doesn't work.  He doesn't read.  He just watches shit TV.  He doesn't even watch good TV.  Watching the news seems to bother him.  Watching anything educational is beyond him.  He just sits around all day, every day, watching the same shit talk shows continuously.  He collects a check, somehow, from the government.  He was never in the military.  I don't know how he qualified.  It's not like he can't work.  He just doesn't.

Now, as if all of that weren't enough, towards the end of every month he runs out of money.  This wouldn't mean anything except he has a smoking habit.  So, when he runs out of cash he bitches and whines and complains nonstop about everything.  He wants to make sure that everyone around him is having a bad time, simply because he has no sense when it comes to financial planning.

When his check comes in, you'd think he'd stash some right?  You'd think he's having this problem because he doesn't get enough to support his habit and live comfortably, but no, that's not the case.  As soon as his check comes in, he puts on a pair of pointy, polished shoes, a jacket, and a gayly wrapped scarf and goes out to blast through his whole check on a slot machine and booze.  He does this every single month.  It's always the same routine.  He never wins anything.  He goes home blasted out of reality and passes out.  Then, the next day, he's already broke.  Whatever little bit he manages to hold onto he spends on cigarettes, but it's never enough.  Really, within a week and a half he's out of smokes and bumming from everyone around him again.

It's fucking pathetic.  Not because he's having a hard time or because he's bumming smokes, though that is kinda sad, but because he knows the reason he has to do this every month, but he doesn't do anything to change it to make sure he has enough finances to last through the month.

By the way, this check I'm talking about?  This money that he pisses away on a slot machine and booze every month?  That's not a retirement check.  That's your US tax money hard at work. =)

Assholes That Have Nothing To Do And Then Annoy Everyone Else As A Result

Hey, guess what asshole?  If we drag ourselves out of bed at 11:30 AM and then eat at 1 PM, what the fuck makes you think we want to have dinner at 3:30 PM?  Uh, hello?  Dumbass?  You have any common sense or brains in your head?  Who the fuck eats a good breakfast and then wants to eat dinner in just over two hours?  You do this every fucking day.  Earlier and earlier.  Pretty soon you'll want to throw dinner on the table as soon as the breakfast plates are cleared.

Here's an idea.  Get a fucking hobby.  Get a fucking life.  You don't do shit all day except watch TV.  You don't do shit.  You just sit there, smoke your fucking brains out and watch TV, and because you're bored, you want to cook right away, as if we're obligated to adjust to overeating to satisfy your stupidity.  If you didn't go blow all of your money in a fucking slot machine as soon as you get it every month, then you wouldn't be bored.

Get your fucking head out of your ass.  Stop wasting your money.  Stop wasting your life.  Most importantly, stop fucking bothering us with your stupidity.

Assholes That Have All The Time In The World

Have you ever been in a hurry trying to get somewhere and then you suddenly realized you're boxed in by assholes that are walking like they're on a Sunday stroll in the park and have all the time in the world?  Like, in the subway stations?  You're trying to get past them.  You're trying to move down the platform, or you're trying to get up the stairs, or to the next train platform.  Worse yet, you know your train just pulled up to the platform and you're trying to get down there to make the train, but these assholes just keep strolling along like nothing much important is going on, and then you miss your train.  Fuck those people.  Fuck them right in the ass with Satan's pitchfork.  People need to get it through their heads that just because they're not in a hurry doesn't mean no one else is in a hurry.  They should keep their slow moving asses over to the side somewhere, out of the way.

Assholes That Sneeze Too Loud

Look.  I understand that some people sneeze louder than other people do.  Everyone is different.  However, if you sneeze so fucking loud that in a mid sized apartment it causes people's ears to hurt and almost pop, for them to feel the reverberation in their chest, and to cringe because they're expecting a 2nd sneeze, then you're fucking overdoing thigns just to get attention.  Fuck you, and shove that shit up your ass.  No one likes to be so jolted that they cringe from thinking a second sneeze is coming.  If you're so sad and pathetic you need to do something like that to get attention, then maybe you should reevaluate your life.  Asshole.