Assholes That Have Nothing To Do And Then Annoy Everyone Else As A Result

Hey, guess what asshole?  If we drag ourselves out of bed at 11:30 AM and then eat at 1 PM, what the fuck makes you think we want to have dinner at 3:30 PM?  Uh, hello?  Dumbass?  You have any common sense or brains in your head?  Who the fuck eats a good breakfast and then wants to eat dinner in just over two hours?  You do this every fucking day.  Earlier and earlier.  Pretty soon you'll want to throw dinner on the table as soon as the breakfast plates are cleared.

Here's an idea.  Get a fucking hobby.  Get a fucking life.  You don't do shit all day except watch TV.  You don't do shit.  You just sit there, smoke your fucking brains out and watch TV, and because you're bored, you want to cook right away, as if we're obligated to adjust to overeating to satisfy your stupidity.  If you didn't go blow all of your money in a fucking slot machine as soon as you get it every month, then you wouldn't be bored.

Get your fucking head out of your ass.  Stop wasting your money.  Stop wasting your life.  Most importantly, stop fucking bothering us with your stupidity.

Assholes That Have All The Time In The World

Have you ever been in a hurry trying to get somewhere and then you suddenly realized you're boxed in by assholes that are walking like they're on a Sunday stroll in the park and have all the time in the world?  Like, in the subway stations?  You're trying to get past them.  You're trying to move down the platform, or you're trying to get up the stairs, or to the next train platform.  Worse yet, you know your train just pulled up to the platform and you're trying to get down there to make the train, but these assholes just keep strolling along like nothing much important is going on, and then you miss your train.  Fuck those people.  Fuck them right in the ass with Satan's pitchfork.  People need to get it through their heads that just because they're not in a hurry doesn't mean no one else is in a hurry.  They should keep their slow moving asses over to the side somewhere, out of the way.

Assholes That Sneeze Too Loud

Look.  I understand that some people sneeze louder than other people do.  Everyone is different.  However, if you sneeze so fucking loud that in a mid sized apartment it causes people's ears to hurt and almost pop, for them to feel the reverberation in their chest, and to cringe because they're expecting a 2nd sneeze, then you're fucking overdoing thigns just to get attention.  Fuck you, and shove that shit up your ass.  No one likes to be so jolted that they cringe from thinking a second sneeze is coming.  If you're so sad and pathetic you need to do something like that to get attention, then maybe you should reevaluate your life.  Asshole.